I received a decidedly annoying Facebook invitation today from a friend who is still a Mormon. General Conference. For some reason, mormons seem to think they need to save everyone, and the only way to save is through the mormon plan. I don't really think I'm in need of saving, but thanks for the offer. Actually, scratch that - no thanks for the offer, and please don't send me any more offers - you're being too goddamn pushy, dammit.
While you're at it, why don't you put me on your do-not-message-about-religion list? And why don't you do us all a favor and downsize your workforce? I mean, you don't pay them, anyway - in fact, they pay you for the "opportunity to" be your lackeys. (I wish I could find your secret, then maybe I could live it up like Don Draper, complete with the afternoon liquor...no wait, I forgot. I know your secret. I don't think I want a part of it after all.)
I can't understand how Mormons can justify casually attempting to woo me into their cult, then getting offended when I point out why I left in the first place.